Published: June 3, 2004

CHAPEL HILL - In an effort to clarify rumors and innuendoes circulating about the 2004 running of the fabled Trinidad Cup, the executive committee of the Friends of the Cup has issued the following official statement:

“The Trinidad Cup represents the epitome of amateur sport and has always been conducted with the utmost integrity and the highest standards. In the spirit of sportsmanship, scholarship and community service, the Friends of the Cup and its various competitors subscribe to the epitome of moral and ethical ideals. Although the history of the Cup remains uncertain, the Friends of the Cup are not aware of any activities of dubious merit in the Cup past. While it honors its past and future resident-scholar–athletes, and seeks to instill in them gentlemanly and gentlewomanly conduct, it cannot take responsibility for Cup competitors who may have behaved in less than perfect ways.”

An upcoming expose in the National Enquirer clearly has Cup officials concerned and scrambling for explanations. Unidentified inside sources have hinted at a “very dark” history to the famed and respected Cup and reportedly claim to have documents and tapes connecting the Cup to public drunkenness, Mob activities, the Whitewater investigation and Monica Lewinsky. An unknown individual at UNC will be quoted in the Enquirer as saying that in spite of its now-honored position in American sports, the “Cup has a seedy underbelly” and is really just a “cheap, sleazy, drunken pinball tournament masquerading as a respected National event.”

Spokesman for the Friends of the Cup, Dr. Robert D. Croom III, has consistently denied that the Trinidad Cup is anything but a “fine Southern tradition” and has speculated off-the-record that the “whole thing smacks of sour grapes and Yankee conspiracy”. He has refused to speculate on whether disgruntled individuals in the Division of Vascular Surgery are behind the rumors.

Respected figures from the sporting world including Pete Rose, Don King, and Dennis Rodman have hastened to rally around the Cup in this moment of controversy and the Utah Olympic Organizing Committee and French Ice Skating Federation have sent letters of support.