{"id":2702,"date":"2014-05-02T14:51:36","date_gmt":"2014-05-02T18:51:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/iris\/archives-1\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/"},"modified":"2018-08-03T15:44:07","modified_gmt":"2018-08-03T19:44:07","slug":"the-question-you-cannot-answer","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/","title":{"rendered":"The Question You Cannot Answer"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Adrianne Soo, MS1, Orthopedic Surgery<\/p>\n

\n

It\u2019s the job.<\/p>\n

You have to explain the scan,<\/p>\n

you have to tell them outright,<\/p>\n

as much as you wish<\/p>\n

you could just show them the images<\/p>\n

and then step back silently<\/p>\n

with your eyes on the floor.<\/p>\n

The attendings say it gets easier,<\/p>\n

you\u2019ll start to learn the words<\/p>\n

soft but still true.<\/p>\n

So if the child asks:<\/p>\n

Is it going to hurt?<\/p>\n

you speak concisely<\/p>\n

until you reach the bit about the analgesics<\/p>\n

(of course you refer to \u201cmedicine\u201d)<\/p>\n

where then you take your time, elaborating<\/p>\n

assuring that the nurses will be gentle.<\/p>\n

If she asks:<\/p>\n

Can I still go to school?<\/p>\n

you might pause for a moment<\/p>\n

as you process your respect for her,<\/p>\n

but then the question is an easy one<\/p>\n

and your answer flows like milk.<\/p>\n

If the child looks at you<\/p>\n

with those impossible eyes<\/p>\n

and asks: Am I going to die?<\/p>\n

you uncap the will<\/p>\n

to look right back at her,<\/p>\n

outsourcing your answer<\/p>\n

to the statistics, readying yourself<\/p>\n

to sprint against the cracking dikes,<\/p>\n

reciting the clinic\u2019s resume,<\/p>\n

brandishing the poster cases,<\/p>\n

the underdog victories, the hope<\/p>\n

that pumps true inside your heart.<\/p>\n

But then there is the child<\/p>\n

who cuts straight to it:<\/p>\n

What will happen to my parents if I die?<\/p>\n

as though she already knows<\/p>\n

the prognosis and is ready<\/p>\n

to hammer out the will.<\/p>\n

You ache to lie to her,<\/p>\n

to clasp her to your chest<\/p>\n

and insist \u201cYou will not die!\u201d<\/p>\n

voice pleading her to believe you<\/p>\n

pleading for it to be true.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that you don\u2019t know the answer,<\/p>\n

answering with uncertainty is custom,<\/p>\n

but rather it\u2019s that you can\u2019t even begin<\/p>\n

to imagine it, what you might do<\/p>\n

if your daughter died-<\/p>\n

would you ever recover?<\/p>\n

Could you ever make love in the same way,<\/p>\n

swimming through weightless passion?<\/p>\n

Could you walk through the house<\/p>\n

where she took her first steps<\/p>\n

without your temples clenching<\/p>\n

in the haunting chimes of her laughter?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not a matter of medical opinion.<\/p>\n

So what do you say?<\/p>\n

Because you have to say something.<\/p>\n

You could redirect, hurdle the question,<\/p>\n

reiterate past successes,<\/p>\n

tell her not to worry about that<\/p>\n

it won\u2019t happen for a while even if it does.<\/p>\n

Hell, you\u2019d even do a magic trick<\/p>\n

to distract her, maybe give her a lollipop.<\/p>\n

Like the moments of your life<\/p>\n

all the possible responses flash before you<\/p>\n

but when you go to part your lips<\/p>\n

all that scrapes its way out<\/p>\n

is \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Adrianne Soo, MS1, Orthopedic Surgery It\u2019s the job. You have to explain the scan, you have to tell them outright, as much as you wish you could just show them the images and then step back silently with your eyes on the floor. The attendings say it gets easier, you\u2019ll start to learn the words … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":80868,"featured_media":0,"parent":2417,"menu_order":10,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"class_list":["post-2702","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","odd"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Question You Cannot Answer - Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Question You Cannot Answer - Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Adrianne Soo, MS1, Orthopedic Surgery It\u2019s the job. You have to explain the scan, you have to tell them outright, as much as you wish you could just show them the images and then step back silently with your eyes on the floor. The attendings say it gets easier, you\u2019ll start to learn the words … Read more\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-08-03T19:44:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/\",\"name\":\"The Question You Cannot Answer - Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-05-02T18:51:36+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-08-03T19:44:07+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"2014\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Flip…\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":4,\"name\":\"The Question You Cannot Answer\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/\",\"name\":\"Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Question You Cannot Answer - Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine","robots":{"index":"noindex","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Question You Cannot Answer - Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine","og_description":"Adrianne Soo, MS1, Orthopedic Surgery It\u2019s the job. You have to explain the scan, you have to tell them outright, as much as you wish you could just show them the images and then step back silently with your eyes on the floor. The attendings say it gets easier, you\u2019ll start to learn the words … Read more","og_url":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/","og_site_name":"Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine","article_modified_time":"2018-08-03T19:44:07+00:00","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/","url":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/","name":"The Question You Cannot Answer - Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-05-02T18:51:36+00:00","dateModified":"2018-08-03T19:44:07+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/the-question-you-cannot-answer\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"2014","item":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Flip…","item":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/archives__trashed\/2014-2\/flip-2014\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"The Question You Cannot Answer"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/","name":"Iris: The Art and Literary Journal - UNC School of Medicine","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"}]}},"_links_to":[],"_links_to_target":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2702","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/80868"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2702"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2702\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2417"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.med.unc.edu\/iris\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}