I was 27, living in a camper in the woods with my daughter and son we were desperate for food, clothing, heat and help. I was alone, overwhelmed and scared my ex-husband would find us.
The woman from the state perinatal substance use hotline told me about the Horizons program and it seemed too good to be true. A free place to live, food to eat, good schools for my children and help for us to put our life together, free of violence and abuse. When the staff picked us up at the local gas station to take us to Horizons, I had nothing but a back pack of clothes for my children and $5 in my wallet.
When we got to Sunrise, my children started running around and I have never seen them so happy in my life! They could not believe that they had their own room, a clean sofa and a bathroom with running water. Things were not always easy in the residence- I fought against the rules, I tried using my manipulative powers to get what I wanted but the staff were kind and patient and let me make mistakes without judging me. They helped me to see where I was lacking in parenting and where I had strengths. They helped me find a church to get in touch with my higher power and God. They gave me time, attention and structure to deal with my past hurts, abuses and how I hurt everyone in my life in active addiction.
I learned that recovery is more than just not using drugs- it is a way of living in an honest and real way. I learned to feel all of my emotions and to sit and really feel the anger, sadness and joy. Horizons taught me to be independent and know when to ask for help.
I learned that recovery is more than just not using drugs- it is a way of living in an honest and real way. I learned to feel all of my emotions and to sit and really feel the anger, sadness and joy. Horizons taught me to be independent and know when to ask for help. I learned to be vulnerable and strong. I learned to show my children love, disciple and respect. I learned how to really listen with my whole heart to what they were saying.
One of the most amazing moments of my treatment was when my son told me- mommy I really like being with you. I realized that when I was using drugs- I was there in body but not really present for them. They were as alone as I was in my addiction. Desperate for someone to see them. Value them and love them.
Horizons taught me how to love myself so that I could love my children in real, true and authentic ways. I have been out of the program from 6 months and life is not easy. I struggle every day with not drinking, finding balance in working two jobs and giving my children the love and attention they need. But, that struggle makes me feel alive and authentic in a way I never knew I could feel. I owe Horizons my life, I don’t know where I would be without this program- probably dead. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for all that has been given to me and all that Horizons has done to help me get to where I am in my life and the best is yet to come.